100 hari berlalu , Ku masih x mampu

Sunday 10 september 2012  2340 hour


As everything flow, Our memories stay Forever

Tercatat lah sejarah yang tidak akan mampu ku lupakan, bilangan no. yang agak tidak di ingini oleh diri ini,
100 hari setelah pemergian dia, everyday been counted, every single minutes time has passed , tears flow unstoppable , oh i wish i could standing tall like i use too, but everything aren't the same, nothings is the same any more.

i know she want me to be strong enough to endure anything, and Allah know that i am tough enough for everything, but still weakness upon me still stumble down to the earth, cant even walk with these two leg, cant even watch those every story been posted everywhere about her.

I do wish to join her early, but Allah already set the time when is 'MY TIME' , so on i shall continue this journey until 'MY TIME' is arrive , await for Izrail come and pick me up , this earth is just only an R&R, 'PIT STOP' for every single human on earth, even though this pit stop are for a while, but the 'WHILE' means a lot , Dugaan sentiasa ada, Perjalanan yang mempunyai pelbagai cabaran, dengan penuh cabaran membuat kita Kuat, lama kelamaan kan ku bangkit semula menjadi antara yang terkuat ='')

Anyway , 100 has passed , i still in not good condition , still barely couldn't walk, stand , also lost my appetite to eat, well every things has to do with feeling,brain functioning like v12 engine being throttle to the limit,
sorrow accompany me all the way, tears dripping from these eyes~

i may sound weak but i will rebuilt this structure of life, i shall re-design, build a more lot stronger than the old, with a lot of people keep on support me, hoping i rise, and yeah, i will RISE, SHINE , and a lot better, and those shall take some time to gain =')

i shall count on those incoming day,i shall memorise every each of our memories , i will always pray for you, Rest until we meet again my lovely dear, don't worry about me, i know i tough enough, and u know it also,
and i know u will always by my side, you will be in my heart ='') forever and always...



 Love you always and forever will be...

Jealousy always in every creature

'Jealous' every human, animal, or what so ever in this earth or outside the universe(if exist) always with in them,

Especially 'Human' , Cemburu itu kalau x wujud dlm seseorang manusia itu, itu bukan manusia namanya~

anyway ni nk habaq ni,

i always felt 'JEALOUS' when something came up that not right for me, even though i am no longer the OLD me that damn 'KUAT JEALOUS' but still those feeling are still exist upon me, i hide all of those things behind of my dumb face,hide behind my freaking smile,act like i don't even care, but 'HELL I CARE' about it, hmm *sigh

apart from this topic there's another i wanted to relate it too,

it's about 'CARE'

i felt like u didn't even give a damn care about me, seem's like i am no longer your priority , i felt like u put me on maybe 3rd priority or more lesser ,

i do need attention from you, i need you to accompany me, that's the way to make me less lonely,
i felt so lonely when there's no you,

You know my life story, i lost not once, but twice in a month , i lost someone i love, i lost my most lovely cat, i lost both my best friend with in a month, sometimes i cant barely stand when i flashback those memories , my tears keep on flow , cant you see that i need you the most, now i only got you, and some others, but you are my priority , hmm

Do open your eyes my dear, if you did open it, you haven't open it WIDELY
PS, I Love You

Sekian lama, Ku kembali Dengan Tangisan

Today , 7 September 2012 1815 Hour

I felt that this life really aren't simple as fairytale that i been watching since i was a child, fairytale by Disney movies , all of it there's happiness,laughter, and a most important happy ending

last 3 month , i been struct by a shocking news, all over place, all over Malaysia, or anywhere, She pass away, by a tragic accident , the night before, i dream we both happily live together ,smile to each other,everything was peace happy ending, when i woke up, i text her about everything in that dream, she didn't reply, in other way she say 'Hai' to me on my wall post on Facebook, there's few comments , miss each other, then, that night, the very moment, Allah took her away, iv'e been told by my friend which stay near by Her house, telling me that she pass away, at First i didn't believe , and i was mad, then the next morning,i log on to Facebook , my eyes were been poke with all those news feed, but i still dont belive then i call mama(Her mom) ask, and all was true, i was barely couldn't stand straight, i was weak,i was driving and  almost hit the others traffic, i felt like nothing , we been knowing ,love, cherish each other for 5 Years, and Allah gave us to meet each other only ONCE in life time, surely the rest is at Heaven ='') Allah love her most than i do, and i know she wait for me at the Heaven door, she wait for us , im sure of that! .

 Rest till we meet again my lovely girl ='')

Since then , i felt so lonely, i felt so empty, i felt like it's such a waste to continue my journey,felt like no point of living any more , but the other's pick me up from drowning my self into tears ,my parents, her parents ,my girl , and the others ~ Dont worry, i will rise back up, even it take such a long time, dont worry, i will rise and shine

there's picture of us, but let only US know about it =')